Wild Card: Nerdy time

The nerd rage inside me due to recent events must come out. I this past Saturday have watched Spike TV's Video Game Awards. I'm sorry I watched the abomination that is Spike TV's embarrassing travesty the Video Game Awards this past Saturday. It like an ulcer has left a hole in my stomach. I can no longer keep my feelings of contempt for the VGAs in no longer. I am so embarrassed by saying I have even watched the VGA that writing about it might lead me to emotional collapse. The VGAs are a poorly thought embarrassment to the Video Game and Geek culture. Spike on a yearly basis has served my family the nerds an oh so decadent platter of feces. The nerds my family if not made aware before took my abandoned on Mt. Olympus baby self in. They raised me to love comics, games, and fantasy. You may see members of my family in the wild or at nerd dens which are known to many as GameStop or comic books shops. This all aside the point that Spike has embarrassed my family once again. My family has been disgraced continually and is continued to be mis appropriated by lousy portrayals and this the Spike VGAs. The Spike VGAs should be called the Spike Video Game Advertisements because that is what it is. It is a horrible marketing event that if not for the corporate bought trophies would be fined for false advertising by calling it an award show. The award part of the show takes the cheap seats of the show this year more than any other year. It is not the Oscars where the awards are the focal point. It is the polar opposite, the announcements are the main point of the event. Why can't I get a on TV VGA with merit. There is such events like ones at GDC or CES but not to be watched on the holy television .  The awards when actually given their spotlight are just sad. The categories are atrocious and lacking and half of them are not even broadcasted. Any ones that actually recognize recipients with actual talent are given at the not televised pre show. Awards such as best voice actor which was full of talented nominees are shafted without true recognition. Look now at the award itself, the aptly named vector monkey. It is of course a monkey with a crown. How does that quite relay to gaming? Maybe the studio of the year picking the awards color in Spike's mind gameifys it enough. The award winners are oh so democratically decided. The viewers vote for the winners. If only that were true, a panel of judges decides the winners. The panel is composed of developers, publishers, and gaming mag employees. Of course that's a stretch admitably, the winners are no doubt probably bought by the corporations. Otherwise if the deserved actually won we would not see crap getting a crown year after year. Next, the celebs of the ceremony is where the real magic is. The host was Zachary Levi of Chuck fame. He is admitably a good choice being a gamer, VA for a few games, and operates a game merch site. Though looking at the rest, one will not find people of appropriateness. Sure we get gaming royalty like Miyamoto of Legend of Zelda and Hideo Kojima of Metal Gear. We get Seth Green who may or not be appropriate. Beyond that we get your filler celebrities. We get the cast of Workaholics of Comedy Central making crappy jokes. We get dumbfounded model Brooklyn Decker, who seemed like a deer in headlights speaking her minds. We even got my favorite the warlock himself Charlie Sheen there, but how is he even related to gaming? Is Charlie next to get a Warlock class for WoW or something? These people are there why? How are they even remotely appropriate or related to gaming? I must give credit to Spike for not parading around porn stars like they did previous years. Atleast they have done that to give the show a disguise of class. They did invite some greats like Mark Hamil and Tara Strong who are known also for being Luke Skywalker or the Joker and Harley Quinn respectively.  Where do I hear they were? If their own tweets and reports to be trusted, they were sited in the far back bleachers. That's right, they put Luke Skywalker and Harley in the nose bleeds. What a disgrace that talent is benched and Hulk Hogan is given the front row. Why can't there be more gaming celebs at the VGAs? It's not like non gamers are tuning in by the score to watch and won't know the people. Bring in Bioshock head Ken Levine or Insomniac Games's Ted Price. Both known well and respected in the community and would give the VGAs merit. Even previous years's Samuel L. Jackson is a choice than models, warlocks, porn stars, and crappy tv stars. Bring out the head of Team Ninja who made Ninja Gaiden, he could provide some actual knowledge and actual jokes to the ceremony after of course he's done cursing and yelling. A new aspect due to its liveness on both coasts is their consequence for too long of a speech. The Oscars had a melody played when a guest over extended his or her allotted time. At the VGAs we get a costplayed soldier who grabs the guest and proceeds to "t-bagg" them. Which is funny in thought but should this be the representation of the culture we get? It's funny but crass and even though we see a COD dev running off at the chime and another being brung down and subjected to a much deserved t-bagg it's not at all a good way to give the culture a face. The thing given the most time wasn't the nominees but the gaming announcements and trailers. When the announcements overide your memory of the actual awards you know there's a problem. I can tell you ever trailer and game shown but not one winner of an award. It's such crap I guess they felt instead of improving stuff they would  add more and more videos to drown out the laughable own stage events. The nominees get 3 seconds to give thanks but Diablo 3 a game even PC players have stopped caring about gets 8 minutes of airtime to show its intro sequence. Even Zelda getting the first Hall of Fame spot was given about 9 seconds and another 3 for Miayamoto to receive a trophy for his involvement. Why can't they afford the deserving actual time and give bits time to be funny and not be rushed along? This is supposed to be an awards show not a montage of upcoming crap. Give me something sensible, something not embarrassing for my respective culture. It's not like they even tried to be an awards show this year, previous years even if they didn't even have more nominees actually accepting awards they at least had more mentioned and announced. The only person who tried was Hideo Kojima who bravely tried to speak English which is not his native language. I hope it will be better next year, it's not even that hard to fix. Cut back a little on gaming montages, no nothing celebs, poor jokes, and I'll thought bits. How hard is that? It will save money in the end when you think about it, why hire the warlock when you can pay pennies to game developers and ezecs that the game community will actually want to see. Things won't change though, it's the Spike network after all. They give us stereotypical male gems that only drunk homophobic frat boys would like. I hope one year to get a respectable ceremony that celebrates gaming properly with at least a touch of class. Maybe next year we will have a slightly less abominable abomination.